


104 Reasons to Live

by HapaxLegomenon



Series: 104 Reasons [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 104 words each, 104th trainee squad - Freeform, Drabble Collection, EVERYONE - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Multi, Multiple Relationships, Training Days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-01-18 02:23:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1411462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HapaxLegomenon/pseuds/HapaxLegomenon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter the battles they fought and the things they saw, the 104th would always remember each other.</p><p>A series of moments, from enlistment to graduation, to remember the little things that make life worth living.</p><p>Featuring a variety of ship and gen pairings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a series of 104 104-word drabbles. I have uploaded them in “chapters” of 8 drabbles apiece, for a total of 13 chapters. 
> 
> While the first chapter focuses on first meetings and impressions, most drabbles in further chapters will jump around in time; these are not written in chronological order.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sasha makes a friend, Jean is grumpy, Armin loves Eren, Reiner reassures Bertholdt, Ymir has horrible pick-up lines, Annie makes a friend too, Eren is a fanboy, and friendship can come from strange beginnings.

**1.**

Sasha carefully mopped up the last drops of soup with a heel of bread.  Savouring the faint mushroom taste, she mourned the end of her meal.  After so many years never knowing when she’d eat again, she couldn’t control the spike of panic when her food ran out.  

Someone sat down.  She didn’t remember his name.  She watched him eat out of the corner of her eye. He caught her eye, and she blushed. 

Half a loaf tumbled into her plate.  She gasped, snatching it up and gawking at the boy.

He grinned.  “You looked hungry.  Sasha, right?”  He extended a hand.

“I’m Connie.”

 

* * *

 

**2.**

“I hate these goddamn harnesses,” Jean grumbled, roughly jerking at a buckle around his thigh.  He was sore and sweaty after a hard day of 3D maneuver training, and wanted nothing more than a hot shower, dinner, and a good night’s sleep.  But first he had to get the stupid harness off.

He gave the strap another forceful tug, overbalanced, and fell with a shout.

“Fan-fucking-tastic,” he muttered, rubbing his sore tailbone.  His face warmed at the sound of an almost-stifled giggle.

“What are you laughing at, asshole?”

Marco raised his hands in a gesture of apology, grinning.  “Want a hand?”

“No. Fuck off.”

 

* * *

 

 **3.**  

Armin sat with his arms curled around his legs, chin on his knees, watching Eren rant as he paced in front of their shared bunk.  Eren had always been so expressive, hands gesturing wildly and eyes gleaming.  

“– then he had the _nerve_ to go and – Armin, are you even listening?”

Armin jumped. “Oh. Um…”

Eren threw his arms up in exasperation, then plopped down beside Armin with a gusty sigh.  “What’re you thinking so hard about?”

“I’m just… really glad we’re here together, you know?”

Eren’s face lit up with a rare smile.  He scooted beside Armin and leaned on his shoulder. “Yeah.”

 

* * *

 

**4.**

Bertholdt took a deep breath in the doorway, willing himself calm.  Sweat ran down his back, between his shoulder blades.  The barracks were arrayed in rows and stacks of double bunks, and the absolute lack of privacy made his skin crawl. 

Reiner pushed past him, and surveyed the room with a raised eyebrow.  “Hm. Not bad.”  After a brief pause, he marched across the room to a top bunk against the back wall and threw his duffle on the mattress.

Bertholdt hunched his shoulders, before hesitantly following Reiner and perching awkwardly beside him.

“You take the bed against the wall, okay?”  Bertholdt nodded, grateful.

 

* * *

 

**5.**

“You should be arrested.”

Krista blinked.  “I’m sorry?”  She turned around, eyes widening slightly at the girl behind her.  Ymir was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, smirking. 

“Oh, is this about the bread I gave Sasha?  You won’t tell Instructor Shadis, will you?”  She clasped her hands in front of her chest, looking up through her eyelashes; trying her best to look cute and innocent.

Ymir pushed off the wall and stalked towards Krista. Krista took a half-step back, but held her ground and Ymir leaned over her.

“You should be arrested,” Ymir repeated, “because it should be illegal to be that cute.”

 

* * *

 

**6.**

Annie picked up her tray and scanned the dining hall, looking for somewhere to sit. Alone, she thought, away from these innocent children.  She spotted Reiner and Bertholdt together and felt a slight jealous tug.  She forced herself to keep her face neutral and let her gaze skip over them.

Beside the back door, there was a half-empty table.  Annie sat down, back to the wall, at the unoccupied end, and busied herself with her dinner.

Someone sat down across from her; Mina, the dark-haired girl who shared Annie’s bunk. 

Neither spoke, but Annie felt the weight on her heart lighten, just a bit.

 

* * *

 

**7.**

“Mikasa! _Mikasa!_ ”

“Hm?”

“Do you know who that _is_?” Eren was positively vibrating with excitement.

“Of course I do.”

“That’s Commander Keith Shadis!  The former Commander of the Survey Corps!  And –”

“I know who he is, Eren.”

“– he’s going to be _our instructor_.  This is such an honour.  I can’t believe the former Commander of the Survey Corps is going to be _our_ instructor!  I wonder why he didn’t talk to me, though.  Why didn’t he talk to me?  He talked to Armin.”

“He said Armin’s name was stupid.”

“Yeah, but, he talked to him!  Why didn’t he talk to _me_?”

“Eren…”

 

* * *

 

 **8.**  

Marco and Armin always cleaned their gear together. 

It started off as a measure of guilt; during their early days of training, working in the rain, Armin had missed a grapple point, swung off-course, and crashed into Marco.  They’d ended up groaning in a puddle of mud on the forest floor and failing the exercise.

Amidst a fit of anxious apologies, Armin offered to clean Marco’s gear, which somehow turned into the two boys, fresh from the showers, scraping dirt from buckles and giggling over stories about their corpsmates.

“Let’s do this again sometime” turned into weekly meetings and a lifelong promise of friendship.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bertholdt is compromised, Mylius has a hopeless crush, it snows, Ymir is a jerk but means well, Reiner misses a friend, Annie and Mikasa understand each other, Thomas is supportive, and everyone loves Krista.

**9.**

Reiner had seamlessly integrated himself into the complex social web that comprised the 104th trainee corps; Bertholdt was, as ever, content in the background.  But Reiner was everyone’s big brother, an equal balance of supportive and strong, charming and mocking.  Everyone loved him, and Bertholdt loved him even more for the confidence and admiration he inspired.

That admiration was freely expressed.

They especially admired his physique.

“Reiner’s built like a brick,” Thomas noted one evening during dinner.

“He’s more like an ox!”

“No, a titan!”

Connie laughed loudly and added, “No, wait – the Armoured Titan!”

Bertholdt calmly stood, walked outside, and promptly threw up.

 

* * *

 

**10.**

“Are you growing your hair out?”

Mylius blushed, raising a hand to rub at his silvery hair.  “Hey, Nac. Yes.  It’s been short for a while, I thought a change might be good.  What do you think?”

Nac grinned cheekily. “Well, I think it would look better pushed back. Like mine.”

Mylius started to call him vain, but paused, red-faced, when Nac reached over and ran his fingers through his bangs, then flattened them back.  Nac looked him over appraisingly.  His hand was cool against Mylius’ forehead.

“There.  Yep, looks good.  Mina will love it.”

“I am not trying to impress Mina.”

“I know.”

 

* * *

 

 **11.**  

“What… what is this?”

Trainees were gathering on the porches outside their barracks buildings, muttering and staring at the white fluff falling from the sky and settling on the ground.  Many were wrapped in blankets or cuddled up to their neighbours to stave off the unusual cold.

There was a sudden, excited squeal.  Sasha streaked past, diving into the storm, whooping and laughing.

“It’s snow! Frozen rain!  I’ve never seen snow off the mountains before!” She scooped up a handful and threw with deadly accuracy.  Jean yelped and swore when the ball exploded on his face.

“Ah!  Cold!  Sasha, I’m going to kill you!” 

 

* * *

 

**12.**

Armin was hiding behind the girls’ barracks, nursing bruises and self-pity.  He hated hand-to-hand training; he had never once won a sparring match.  He wasn’t strong enough.

Not for the first time, Armin thought about how quickly he’d die in the Survey Corps.

“Oi!  What are you doing back there?” Ymir’s voice called.  Armin jumped.  “Are you hiding because you’re embarrassed by your performance during training?  It was pitiful.” She stood over him, scowling, hands on her hips.

“Go away.”

“Why?” she challenged. “So you can wallow in self-pity?  Boohoo, you suck.  So _do_ something about it.  Stop acting so pathetic. Practice, you moron.”

 

* * *

 

 **13.**  

Sometimes they wake up to screaming.

Usually, it’s Eren or Armin or Mylius, the ones who’d suffered when Wall Maria fell.  They all try to understand, but nobody does, really.

Tonight, it’s Reiner, screaming a name.  Bertholdt startles awake in a tangle of limbs, scrambling to soothe his troubled companion.  Reiner cries the name again once more, before whimpering and rolling over, never waking.  Bertholdt strokes his hair absently, sniffing back his own sudden heartache.

“Who’s Berik?” Connie asks, voice uncharacteristically soft.

Bertholdt remembers a cheeky grin and a flash of titan teeth. 

“A friend.  He’s gone.  We watched him die.”

Nobody says anything.

  

* * *

 

 **14.**  

She heard the faint, rhythmic _whap_ of skin-on-wood.  It was dark, far past lights out, but evidently Annie wasn’t the only one still awake.  Flexing her fingers briefly, she stepped into the training field, into a pool of blue moonlight.

The training dummy was splintered and streaked with blood.  When Annie stepped forward, Mikasa’s eyes narrowed, but she kept punching, breath hitching in desperate, rapid pants. 

Annie’s hand flew out and caught Mikasa’s wrist.  She squeezed, hard.  Mikasa growled and Annie let her pull away, before shifting one foot behind her and raising her own fists in front of her face in wordless invitation.

 

* * *

 

**15.**

“This is bullshit,” Eren muttered, glaring at the rankings for their last 3DMG exercise.  Mikasa, as ever, placed within the top three.  Armin had managed a respectable seventeenth, but Eren had landed at twenty-third.

Not good enough.

He turned and shoved his way through the throng of his corpsmates.

“Hey, Eren… hey!” Thomas grabbed Eren’s shoulder as he stomped past.  Eren scowled and threw an elbow, which Thomas dodged.

“Hey, don’t worry.  Everybody has bad days, right?  You still placed higher than I did – I got forty-five.  Don’t worry about one bad week. You’ll do better next time.” He smiled encouragingly.  “Don’t sweat it.”

 

* * *

 

**16.**

“I think Reiner likes you too much,” Ymir said to Krista, scowling across the dining hall at the boy in question.  He’d seen them sitting together and was making his way over with his dinner tray, a cocky half-smile on his face and an anxious Bertholdt trailing behind.

“Oh, no,” Krista demurred, “He’s just friendly.”

“So friendly he spends half his time staring at your ass,” Ymir muttered under her breath.  Krista didn’t react, but she smiled up at Reiner and Bertholdt when they sat down and laughed at Reiner’s joke.  _She’s adorable_ , Ymir thought.  Her cheeks warmed. _Damn, you got it bad, girl._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to leave constructive criticism and/or suggestions for future drabbles.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mikasa is free, Marco is gay, Sasha is late, Jean and Eren are arguing, everyone celebrates, Mina and Hannah are sweethearts, Eren tries to spar with Bertholdt, and Reiner and Armin have something in common.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for homophobia in #18.

**17.**

Mikasa loved 3DMG training.  She loved the smooth feeling of weightlessness, the hiss and stench of the gas canisters, the rush of wind through her hair and in her ears.  It was intuitive for her.  Rhythmic.  Like dancing.  A full-body exercise, defying gravity. She relished the burn in her muscles and the way the straps chafed and bruised.  She felt at home, flying through the trees, weaving up and down and side to side.  The cool sword hilts fit her hands perfectly, the blades and wires working as extensions of her own body. 

It was true and it was pure.  It was her freedom.

 

* * *

 

**18.**  

Marco was leaning against the wall, watching Armin read with an idle smile.  There was a pleasant hum of teenage voices in the background. He was content, until:

“Dude, he’s such a fag.”

Marco stiffened.  He noticed Bertholdt’s shoulders hunch and Mylius’s awkward wariness, and glared towards the source of the comment.  Anger bit his spine as the conversation continued.

“Shut up.”  His voice was loud and sharp, and the room fell silent. 

The offender raised his hands. “Hey, relax.  It’s just a joke. 

“Not like there’s anyone gay here anyway.”

Marco punched him, and that was how he came out to his corpsmates.

 

* * *

  

**19.**  

The dining hall door blasted open.  There was a pause, then a loud wail.  Several trainees stopped eating to glance around nervously, but at the mention of “it’s just Sasha,” went back to their meals.

The girl in question dropped despondently onto the bench beside Connie.  “They’re out of chicken,” she said glumly, staring at her meatless plate.

“That’s what you get for being late,” Connie chided.  “Lucky for you,” he added, placing a napkin-wrapped drumstick on the table, “I’m awesome.”

Sasha shrieked again, happy, and hugged him tight.  “Oh my Sina, Connie, I love you!”

He hid his burning face in her shoulder.

 

* * *

 

**20.**

“Stop strutting around like some puffed-up rooster.  It’s annoying.”  Jean watched Eren strip off his harness after the day’s training run, scowling.  Eren immediately bristled.

“Are you calling me a chicken?”

“For fuck’s sake, Jaeger,” Jean groaned.  “If anything, I’m calling you a cock.”  He smirked with a feeling of validation when Marco giggled nearby.

“At least I don’t look like a horse,” was Eren’s retort.

“Well, you know what they say about horses.  And how they’re hung.”

“Suck my dick, Kirschtein.”

Jean arched an eyebrow.  “I don’t want your dick anywhere near my mouth.”

“Oh my Sina, shut _up_ ,” Eren blustered, completely red-faced.

 

* * *

 

**21.**  

There was Wall Rose holiday, and the 104th Trainee Squad had the weekend off.  Some had been granted leave to visit family, but most decided to stay on base and enjoy the time to unwind together.

Jean and Nac had disappeared briefly before returning with armfuls of liquor bottles, and Armin had produced a fiddle from nowhere and was being cajoled into playing by a persistent Eren.  Soon enough, the entire corps was dancing and singing together.  Sasha and Connie stomped inelegantly, Ymir lifted a giggling Krista by the waist, and even Annie and Bertholdt laughed together.

It was a night nobody ever forgot.

 

* * *

 

**22.**  

Mina and Hannah were genuinely sweet, open people. Mikasa liked to just sit nearby and listen to them chattering about the boys and playing with each other’s hair.  It was feminine and innocent, and Mikasa yearned for her own lost innocence.

Being Mina and Hannah, however, they were not content to have Mikasa simply sitting on the sidelines.  Soon enough, they had drawn her a little bit out of herself and a little bit into them, with smiles and soft hands and friendship freely given.

As time went on, Mikasa learned that Eren’s red scarf wasn’t the only thing that could make her warm.

 

* * *

 

  **23.**

Bertholdt wasn't quite sure how he ended up with Eren for their hand-to-hand exercise.  He generally tried to avoid being alone with Eren; the boy’s passion for killing titans made Bertholdt nervous.  He sometimes thought, through a buzz of paranoia, that Eren _knew_. 

Bertholdt was very aware that he had killed Eren’s mother. 

“Are you even _trying_ , Bertholdt?” Eren asked exasperatedly, hands on his hips.

Bertholdt blinked, startled out of his anxious thoughts.  He shrugged.

“Well.  It’s not like this means anything anyway.  I’m not going to kill the Colossal Titan by punching it,” he grumbled.

“Hey, are you alright?  You look really pale.”

 

* * *

 

**24.**

“Hey, can I join you?”  Reiner didn’t wait for a response before dropping down on the grass beside Armin and lying back, arms crossed behind his head.

“Are you looking at the clouds?”

Armin nodded.  “I find it relaxing.  Being here… it gets overwhelming sometimes.  I always used to look at the clouds when I was a kid, look for different shapes.  Things have changed so much, but it’s just nice –” he broke off abruptly, ears red.

Reiner looked back to the sky.  “Nah, man, I get it.  I used to love looking at the clouds. They change, but they’re always the same.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Thomas faces loss, Eren misses his family, Nac has something to confess, Reiner is the team mom, Sasha and Connie are bandits, Armin surprises everyone when he’s drunk, Krista is miserable, and Bertholdt needs a release.

**25.**

It was widely known that military training was dangerous.  Trainees dying during exercises was alarmingly common, and there was the unspoken acceptance that those who died during training were never going to survive fighting Titans, anyway. 

That didn’t make it any easier. 

“Somebody get help!” Thomas was screaming, cradling the broken body of his bunkmate.  “He’s hurt, somebody help!” 

Nobody in the circle of trainees moved, save Connie, who crouched down beside the sobbing boy. He put a hand on his shoulder.  “There’s nothing we can do, man.” 

“ _No!_ ”

“I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.”  Thomas keened and held the body closer.  And Connie held Thomas.

 

* * *

 

**26.**

Mikasa startled as arms wrapped around her from behind.  A split second before she elbowed the offender in the gut, she realized she recognized those arms and that smell.       

“Eren.”

She felt him nuzzle into her hair.  “Hi.”

“What are you doing?” She touched her hands to Eren’s, at her waist.

He squeezed, then released her.  She turned to him, and he shrugged.  “I feel like I haven’t seen you much lately.  I missed you.”

Mikasa pulled her scarf over her mouth.  “We see each other every day.”

“Only during training.  I miss talking to you.  How’ve you been?”

“Good.  I miss you too.”

 

* * *

 

 **27.**  

Nac stared at the ceiling, arms folded.  Mylius lay beside him, curled on his side, watching Nac as he said, “I can’t believe we’re graduating tomorrow.  You’re gonna join the Garrison, right?”

Mylius nodded.  So did Nac. 

“Good. I was thinking… we’re not gonna be together as much.  And.  I don’t want that to happen.  I want us to stay together.” 

Mylius tried not to take that the wrong way, but his heart stuttered and he blushed.  “Yeah.  I’d like that too.” 

The grin Nac gave him was frankly lecherous.  “ _Together_.”  He leaned over and pressed their lips together. 

“Um. A-aren’t you straight?”

“Nope.”

  

* * *

  

 **28.**  

Their first winter, everyone got sick.  The flu ripped through the base in much the same way the titans had devastated Shiganshina; quickly, thoroughly, and without warning.  Marco was the first to start sniffling, and soon the entire trainee corps had been reduced to wheezing and coughing. 

Somehow, Reiner – and only Reiner – had managed to avoid the virus.  With training postponed and the barracks full of miserable teenagers, Reiner had put himself in charge and spent the days fetching water and blankets, rubbing backs, and checking fevers. 

He didn’t mind, he’d said, because he liked taking care of people.  He liked to be needed.

 

* * *

 

 **29.**  

“Shhh!” Sasha held a finger up to her mouth, the seriousness of her demand severely undermined by the way she kept giggling.  Connie was openly laughing, eyes crinkled.  “Connie, shush, we’re going to get caught!”

The two were crouched in the shadows behind the kitchens, intent on a midnight snack.

“Oh please,” Connie whispered loudly. “It’s been two years and they’ve never caught us, they’re not going to get us tonight.”

“Shh!”

The sound of footsteps came as Connie dug through a crate.  On tiptoe, the two absconded with their treasure – a small loaf, a chunk of hard cheese, and two apples.

“Eat up!”

 

* * *

 

 **30.**  

It was handy having local trainees around; they knew how to get illicit liquor. 

Jean and a girl from Trost had somehow managed to obtain a few cases of beer, and so there was a large group of trainees drunkenly gathered in one of the boys’ barracks.  Armin, face red, was cradling a beer bottle and giggling.  He was leaning against the wall beside Annie, tilted slightly towards her.  Without warning, he reached over and grabbed her cheek, before pulling her into a sloppy kiss. 

Reiner guffawed, and Bertholdt went rigid. Everyone waited to see what would happen. To their surprise, Annie kissed back.

 

* * *

 

**31.**

“Carolina!” Shadis barked.  Mina snapped off a salute and a “yes, sir!”

“Where’s the rest of your barracks?”

 

 

The “rest of the barracks” were currently curled together in Krista’s bed, Ymir wrapped around Krista from behind.  She had her hands pressed tight against Krista’s abdomen, and alternated between gentle kisses and soothing whispers against Krista’s soft hair.

Krista whimpered and scrunched her knees up.  “Ymir, it hurts so much.  I hate this.  Please make it stop.”

Ymir just squeezed tighter, nuzzling into Krista’s neck.  “I know, I know. You just gotta wait it out. The pressure should help.”

“I hate being female,” Krista moaned.

 

* * *

 

 **32.** 8 April 2014

Reiner was dissociating again.  Which was bad enough, except that Soldier Reiner didn't even know he was _gay_ , and it made Bertholdt’s blood boil to see him flirting with Krista.  He was going to scream or cry and neither was a good option.

He caught Annie just before the start of their free hour.  Literally caught, grabbing her by the elbow as she passed and spinning her to face him.  “Spar with me,” he hissed, before stalking towards the training field.  Annie, noticing his black mood, followed unquestioningly.

Twenty minutes later, both Annie and Bertholdt were panting, Bertholdt spitting up blood.

“Thank you, Annie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #30 I wrote on the last day of class for the semester after a night out, while I was a bit drunk. It obviously influenced my choice in subject matter. Also it somehow turned into AruAnnie, which I don't even ship, so that's interesting.
> 
> I ship Mylius and Nac so hard.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren and Armin study together, Jean is a shy artist, Hannah and Franz have crushes, Mikasa protects her friends, it’s probably going to rain, Sasha can be a bit of a cockblock, an old friend comes to visit, and Annie thinks about Armin

 

**33.**

“I’m never going to remember this,” Eren moaned, thunking his head down onto his textbook.  “Why do we even have to know this stuff, it’s not going to help us kill titans.”

Armin shrugged, a little self-conscious.  “I think it’s interesting.  Besides, knowing the history of the different branches of the military is important for understanding their methods, goals, and political climate.  You should at least learn the parts about the Survey Corps, Eren.”

Eren grumbled. “M’not good at this history stuff.”

“Well, I can help you study, if you want.”

“Really?” Eren lit up. “You will?  Thanks, Armin!”

Armin smiled.  “Yeah, any time.”

 

* * *

  

**34.**  

“What are you drawing?”

Jean definitely did _not_ shriek in surprise before scrambling to cover his sketch.  “Marco!” he blustered, “Don’t sneak up on people like that, geeze!”

Marco laughed. “I didn’t sneak, Jean. I walked right up to you.  You just weren’t paying attention.”

“Whatever,” Jean muttered, clutching his pencil.

Marco gestured to the rumpled paper in Jean’s hand. “Can I see?”

“No.”

“Aw, why not?  I didn’t know you drew.”

“I don’t. Go away.”

“Grouch.”

“Go away.”

Marco sighed.  “Fine. See ya.”

Watching Marco walk away, Jean tried in vain to un-crinkle his sketch. He frowned, then added a few more freckles.

 

* * *

 

  **35.**

Hannah couldn’t help but blush every time she saw him.  It was embarrassing.  But he was tall and handsome and really nice, and he always smiled at her.  She spent an equally embarrassing amount of time sighing and giggling over him with Mina and Mikasa.  He just seemed so perfect, though.  She’d never admit, even to Mina, to her ridiculously corny, romantic daydreams, but. Well. She daydreamed a lot.

-

Franz wasn’t quite sure what to do.  He’d had crushes before – gone on dates before – but those girls were different, somehow.  She seemed so much gentler, more sincere.  Special. He always smiled, but wanted more.

 

* * *

 

  **36.**

The bell rang, signalling the end of class, and  –

“Lunch!” Sasha whooped, grabbing her notes and grinning at Connie.

“Fatass,” someone muttered from behind her.  She stiffened, and Connie whipped around to glare.  Before either could act, however, the boy’s head slammed against the desk.

Mikasa’s face was completely blank, save the vicious glint to her eyes.  The offender’s arm was twisted behind his back, his face shoved against the desk.  He whimpered.

“Did you say something?” Mikasa asked, voice quiet.  He squeaked denial, so she let go and stepped back.

“Aw, thanks for defending me, Mikasa!” Sasha grabbed her hand, and Mikasa smiled.

 

* * *

 

  **37.**

Shadis’ announcement that they were going to be training with 3DMG was met with more than a few mutters and uncomfortable shuffles.  Their instructor raised an eyebrow.  “Is there a _problem_?”  Nobody dared answer.  

“Springer!”

Connie jumped. “Y-yes, sir?”

“What’s the goddamn hold-up?”

Connie flushed and shuffled his feet.  “Well, it’s going to rain – ”

“How the hell would you know that?”

His flush deepened. “Um…” Behind him, there were muffled snickers and more than one elbow nudging Bertholdt, whose face rivalled Connie’s in its redness.

“Enough.  Get your gear. _Now!_ ”

Several hours later, they were dodging raindrops through the trees, completely soaked through.

 

* * *

 

**38.**  

“Hey girls!” Sasha flopped across Krista and Ymir’s legs and grinned, upside-down.  “What are you talking about?”

Ymir gave her a half-hearted shove. “Get off, potato girl,” she muttered, but there was no bite to the words.  Krista shuffled to accommodate Sasha (amidst complaints of _that was_ one _time!_ ) until they were comfortable, Krista curled up against Ymir with Sasha’s head in her lap.

“We were just talking about our free afternoon next week. We might have a picnic,” Krista said, carding her fingers through Sasha’s bangs.

Sasha lit up. “I love picnics!”

“You’re not invited.”

“Aw. Fine. But can I help you cook?”

  

* * *

 

**39.**

“Oi…! Hey, kids!  Eren!”

At the sound of his name, Eren stopped and turned. “Wha – _Hannes_? What are you doing here?”

The tall man waved, catching up with Eren, Armin, and Mikasa on their way to the training fields.  He grinned down at them. “Well, look at you. All grown up and in the military. Following in my footsteps?” he teased. Eren scowled. “Shadis asked the Garrison for volunteers for a training exercise. I thought I’d come see how you were doing.”

“We’re fine,” Armin answered politely.  Mikasa nodded agreement.

Hannes smiled, reaching over to ruffle Eren’s hair. “I’m glad you kids are alright.”

 

* * *

**40.**

Annie liked Armin.  He was friendly and kind and smarter than anyone she’d ever met.  She was intrigued by the way his mind worked, how he was able to take in and synthesize information so quickly, how he could use that information to brilliant effect.  He’d rarely scored less than 95% on any of their exams or assignments and was, predictably, the top of all of their classes.  Annie liked to watch him think, to see that mind at work. And she feared him, deeply, for the same reasons she admired him.

If anyone could figure out her ( _their_ ) secret, it would be Armin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is a bit late. I just moved and don't have internet hooked up at my new place yet. Hopefully everything will be back on schedule as of this Wednesday, though.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bertholdt is introspective, Marco tries to be Jean’s conscience, first aid is hard, Reiner is annoying, Armin loves to learn and teach, Mylius’s crush is still hopeless, Marco is part of a set, and Ymir has her hair done.

**41.**  

Reiner liked to spend time with his other friends.  The humans.  Bertholdt had no stomach for it.  He couldn’t care about them, but he couldn’t _stop_ himself from caring, so he avoided them.  When Reiner was sparring with Annie and Eren or hunting with Sasha or wrestling with Nac, Bertholdt was curled up on his bunk, or under a tree, or in the shadows of the dining hall’s sloped roof. 

Sasha found him one day, wrapped up in himself, daydreaming while he waited for Reiner. She had smiled, and chattered at him until he uncoiled and smiled back.

He couldn’t care, but he did.

 

* * *

 

**42.**

“Jean.  You’re such an asshole.” Jean glared at Marco, fists clenched, still red after his confrontation with his mother.  Marco’s expression was uncharacteristically angry.

“I can’t believe you,” he said. “You were cruel to your mother – don’t deny it – which is bad enough, but you did it in front of people like Eren and Mikasa.  Their mothers are dead.  And I might never see mine again.  And yours is alive and here and loves you, and you _yelled_ _at her_ for it, and now you have the _audacity_ to act the victim.  Don’t be such a child.

“I thought you were better than that.”

 

* * *

  

**43.**

They had to take first aid classes.  Lots of classes. They were in the military, after all, and soldiers should be able to perform first aid in the event of emergencies.  But the only kind of emergency nowadays was titan attacks, and there wasn’t much they could do for those.

The classes were graphic, and made heavy use of illustrations of real-life injuries.  It was depressing and gruesome.  Queasiness was common; Marco cringed at a soldier whose arm had been ripped out, and Franz went green at a bisected corpse. 

Everyone hated the first aid classes.  It reminded them how powerless they really were.

 

* * *

 

**44.**

Reiner was driving Annie crazy.  He was constantly picking at her, making snide remarks and lewd comments and it was getting on her last nerve.  They were supposed to be discreet, but Reiner had apparently forgotten, and if it continued Annie was going to kill him. 

Finally, she’d had enough.  She cornered him after training, ignoring Bertholdt’s surprised “eep!” when she shoved Reiner hard against the wall of a shed. 

“A-Annie?  What are you doing?”

“If you don’t stop harassing me, Reiner, I am going to rip off your dick. Many times. Understood?” she hissed. 

Reiner’s thighs came together instinctively.  “Huh?  What’d I do?”

 

* * *

 

**45.**

Armin was on a high after their first lecture.  He had always loved learning, but living in Shiganshina and being a refugee wasn’t conducive to formal education.  His mind was full of words, strategies, _ideas_ , and to have that mindset encouraged… it was amazing. 

“Armin?” 

He snapped out of his happy daydreams. “Hm?  Oh, hi Sasha!  Wasn’t that great?  I’m so excited for our classes,” he babbled.

“Actually, I was wondering…” she trailed off, shuffling her feet.

“What?”

“Will you teach me to read?” She said quickly.

Armin blinked. “You can’t read?”

“I never needed to!  Please?”

“Of course.  It would be my pleasure.”

 

* * *

  

 **46.**  

“Man, you should just tell him you’re into him.  What’s the worst that could happen?”

Mylius gaped up at Thomas.  “Are you kidding? He gives me enough crap for being gay, I don’t need him knowing that I _like him_.  It’d be awkward.  We share a bunk, what if he doesn’t want to sleep with me anymore?”  Mylius’ face went bright red. “N-not like that.  What if he doesn’t want to be friends anymore because he’s straight and I can’t help being in love with him?”  His voice broke and he buried his face in his arms, miserable.

Thomas just rubbed his shoulder wordlessly.

 

* * *

  

 **47.**  

“Marco!” Sasha appeared from nowhere and grabbed Marco’s arm.  “We were just talking about you!  Come here.”  She dragged him to where Connie was standing with Bertholdt, Nac, and Samuel.  The latter three bore exasperated expressions; Connie was giggling.

“Connie!  Found him!” Sasha called.  Connie whooped, running up to take Marco’s other arm.  The two manhandled him over to stand between Nac and Samuel.

“Um… what are you doing?”

Just then, Reiner walked behind the line of boys.  He glanced over and burst out laughing.

“Nice collection, guys!”

“What’s he talking about?” Marco asked, confused.

Nac rolled his eyes. “We all look the same.”

 

* * *

 

  **48.**  

Mina combed her fingers through Krista’s hair.  Ymir watched, admiring the golden shimmer in the afternoon light, idly wishing _she_ was the one playing with it.  Mina commented on how Krista must be able to do so much with her hair, it being naturally straight, and somehow that had become a decision to do Ymir’s hair.

“Don’t I get a say here?”

“Nope!” Mina said cheerfully, unclipping Ymir’s ponytail.

“Does it bother you?” Krista asked, hands clasped.

Ymir swallowed. “Ah… not really.” If it made Krista happy, Ymir would do anything.

That resolve was sorely tested under the following onslaught of brushes and hairpins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #42 was written as a tie-in to the most recent OVA, episode "3.25".
> 
> Hopefully back to regular updates!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sasha is homesick, sex ed goes about as well as expected, Connie needs advice, Mikasa dreams, Annie makes friends, Shadis has a talk with Bertholdt, the trainees are always together, and even warriors value peace.

**49.**

Sometimes, Sasha missed the mountains.

She loved being in training, she loved the maneuver gear and she loved her friends – Connie and Mikasa and Krista and everyone – but she got homesick sometimes.  Some nights, it was so bad she couldn’t sleep and she lay staring at the bottom of Annie’s bunk until the sun came up.

This was one of those nights.  In the early hours of the morning, long before reveille, Sasha finally threw off her blankets with an exasperated huff and snuck outside.

She climbed onto the roof, looking up at the stars.  They were the same stars she saw at home.

 

* * *

 

**50.**  

He didn’t know what he expected, trying to teach sex education to a group of barely-pubescent teenagers.  Still, Shadis hadn’t anticipated quite the level of immaturity.  Less than ten minutes in, he was already at his wit’s end, not sure whether to scream or laugh.

Jaeger was staring at the anatomy diagrams with his usual intensity, Arlert redfaced but studious.  Braus commented loudly on how weird penises looked, and Sina only knew what Braun was whispering to Fubar to make him _that_ sweaty.  To top it off, Shadis was about 99% sure Kirschtein was trying to hide an erection.

_I miss the Survey Corps._

 

* * *

 

  **51.**

 “Reiner!  Oi, Reiner!”  Connie ran up, panting slightly.  “Got a minute?”

 Reiner grinned.  “Sure, Connie, what’s up?”

 “Um, well…” 

 Reiner waited for him to continue, but Connie didn’t say anything.  After an awkward minute, Reiner turned and started to walk away.

 “Wait!  I need advice!  Howdoyouknowifagirllikesyou.”

 “Uh, what?” Reiner raised an eyebrow.

 Connie took a deep breath.  “How do you know if a girl likes you?”

 The second eyebrow lifted to meet the first. “Not really my area, dude.”

 “But, you know shit, about… shit!  C’mon, man!”

 Reiner rolled his eyes.  “Are you talking about Sasha?”

 Connie immediately flushed. “Maybe…”

 “You’re good to go.”

 

* * *

 

**52.**  

When they asked, Mikasa said she didn’t dream.  The other girls all accepted it; it was a “Mikasa thing”.  They didn’t know she was lying.

Mikasa dreamed.  She dreamed vividly and she dreamed quietly.  She dreamed of memories and imaginings and she was always scared.  She would see her mother bleeding out or her second mother bitten in half, reliving those moments over and over and over until the dream shifted, and she was watching Armin falling to his death or Eren gasping desperately as titan teeth crunched his sternum. 

If she was lucky, she woke up. 

Mikasa had never been a lucky person.

 

* * *

**53.**  

Annie planned to stay aloof, to not get close to anyone.  She had always been independent and satisfied with her own company, and expected that to continue during their training. 

She was so wrong.

It started and ended with Mina.  Mina, with her bubbly disposition and determination and the way she smiled ever so slightly in her sleep.  Annie felt herself softening, and decided to allow herself one friend.  One friend couldn’t hurt. 

Except when one friend lead into more friends, and suddenly Annie was training with Eren and studying with Armin and eating with Thomas. 

She found herself hoping they would somehow survive.

 

* * *

 

**54.**  

Bertholdt Fubar stood in front of Shadis in a perfect salute.  He was, predictably, sweating, but his face was expressionless. 

Shadis broke the silence by leaning forward and resting his elbows on his desk.  “At ease, soldier.”  Fubar shifted his stance. 

“Do you know why you’re here?”

“No, sir.” 

“We need to discuss your performance.” 

Surprise registered on Fubar’s face. “Sir?”

“You’re very skilled.  Top scores.  And yet you show a complete lack of initiative and self-confidence.  We do not want complacency and insecurity in our soldiers, Fubar. Fix it.”

The boy blinked and ducked his head.

“You have great potential. Don’t waste it.” 

 

* * *

 

**55.**  

There was no such thing as privacy in the Trainee Corps.  They were always together; training, eating, showering, sleeping, and relaxing.  They were never alone. 

With all the time spent together, they learned to rely on each other.  They learned everyone’s weaknesses and strengths and learned to co-operate.  It wasn’t unusual to see Armin tutoring tactics, or Connie giving tips on maneuver gear, or Eren sparring in hand-to-hand combat.  Nac was a great dancer, and Mina was the best hairstylist, and Sasha could hunt anything. They worked together.

It was one of the most important lessons of their training.  They learned how to trust.

 

* * *

 

**56.**  

Sometimes, Reiner and Bertholdt would sneak away from the others on their free afternoons, and walk around the lake they’d discovered early in their trainee days.  It was a long walk, but Reiner liked the hike and Bertholdt loved the way it always brought out the real Reiner.

There were times when they’d talk on the way, making jokes and discussing their plans and whatever antics Sasha or Eren had gotten up to, but more often they walked without speaking, soaking in the serene, faint sounds of nature around them.

Inevitably, their hands would brush and then link.  Unified. Together, for now, for forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this fic is more than halfway done! I've been having a ton of fun with it.
> 
> I'd apologize for the overly sappy ReiBert, but, well... I'm not actually sorry.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which nobody likes Eren and Mikasa when they’re angry, Jean is cranky, Eren and Jean are lost, Reiner goes to bed, Connie doesn’t panic, Ymir knows herself, Eren and Annie watch the sunset, and Marco watches Bertholdt.

**57.**

It quickly became known among the 104th Trainees Squad that an Eren who had failed was an Eren best avoided.  He was fanatical in his training and his drive to kill titans, and it scared everyone, just a little bit.  When he failed to grasp a maneuver gear technique or set of strategies, he prowled around base, picking fights and scowling.

What was even scarier than an angry Eren, though, was an angry Mikasa, because an angry Mikasa wouldn’t hesitate to twist your arm until it popped. 

 Angry Eren and Angry Mikasa tended to come as a pair, much to their hapless corpsmates’ chagrin. 

 

* * *

 

**58.**

Jean was cranky.  He’d never had to share a room before – _ever_ – and now he had to share a barracks with a bunch of loud, smelly teenage boys and this was _not_ what he had signed up for.  It was dirty and stinky and so noisy it kept him from sleeping.  Reiner and Connie were truly impressive snorers, and on more than one sleepless night Jean thought viciously of how it would feel to smother those snores. It felt like he hadn’t slept in weeks and it made him snappy and grumpy.  Even Marco avoided him, and Jean didn’t care.  He was so tired. 

 

* * *

 

**59.**

“We’re lost,” Eren declared, stopping and crossing his arms.  “Jean, you ass, we’ve passed that rock three times!”

“Hey!” Jean yelled back, defensive.  “Don’t blame me!”

“You have the map!”

“You’re in the lead!”

“You’re supposed to be giving directions!”

“You’re supposed to be looking for landmarks!”

Eren launched himself at Jean with a frustrated growl.  They fell to the ground with an “oof!” and a flutter of leaves, and fought to pin each other.  A few frantic minutes later, Eren was sitting astride Jean with Jean’s arms pinned over his head, grinning triumphantly.

“Eren?”

“I won.” 

“No, stupid – where’s the map?” 

“Oh. Shit.” 

 

* * *

 

**60.**

Reiner slipped through the barracks door just before lights out, still dripping from a late shower.  He flung his wet towel across Connie’s face, grinning when he yelped, and pulled on his sleeping clothes before crawling into his bunk.  Bertholdt lay still with closed eyes.  Reiner leaned over him and rubbed his hair vigorously to fling water droplets on Bertholdt’s face.

“I know you’re awake, Bertl,” he whispered. 

Bertholdt cracked one eye open in a half-hearted glare.  A drop of water ran down the long bridge of his nose.

Reiner smiled and kissed Bertholdt’s cheek before flopping down and snuggling up against his back. 

 

* * *

 

**61.**

It happened so fast. One moment they were shoving through the undergrowth; the next, Sasha disappeared with a scream. 

“Sasha!” Connie and Krista leaned cautiously over the edge of the sinkhole. 

“Sasha,” Connie called again, “Can you hear me?  Are you okay?” 

“Connie!  Help!  My leg hurts.”  Sasha’s voice broke.  “P-please get me out.” 

“It’ll be okay, Sasha, don’t worry.” Connie’s voice was even as he edged towards the hole.  “We’ll get you.  Krista, get the rope.” 

Krista nodded, looping and knotting the rope around a tree.  They pulled Sasha up and out, and she clung to them as they helped her limp home.

 

* * *

 

**62.**

Ymir knew what the others said about her.  She knew that they thought she was rude and mean-spirited and selfish, and, well, she was.  She’d looked out for herself for long enough that she didn’t care how the others felt.  The only reason she helped them was so that they’d owe her, like Sasha. 

Never mind that Ymir hadn’t collected that favour yet.  

She never felt bad for yelling at the others when they screwed up.  When Nac had bellowed obscenities at her for making Mylius cry during an exercise, she’d laughed in his face. 

_It doesn’t matter what they think.  I don’t care._

* * *

**63.**

Eren and Annie were walking back from the training fields following a late-afternoon sparring session.  Eren was tired and sore, but his nerves were thrumming with an adrenaline high.  He chattered to Annie, not caring that she barely responded.  Their shadows stretched far down the path in front of them.

“Look,” he said, stopping.  The setting sun had dyed Wall Rose in vibrant oranges and reds.  He tensed when an image of the Armoured Titan flashed through his mind.  Wall Maria had been beautiful in the sunset light, too.

He glanced over at Annie, with her stone-blank face, and wondered what she was thinking.

 

* * *

 

**64.**

Marco liked to think he was an observant person.  He could read people.  He could see Eren’s desperation in the set of his mouth, and Jean’s loneliness in his eyes.  He saw and understood.

Lately, he’d taken to watching Bertholdt.  He wasn’t sure if the others had noticed, but Marco caught the ways Bertholdt looked at Reiner, and it confused him.  Sometimes, Bertholdt’s expression was affectionate and loving (and Marco could figure that out easily, he did have a fairly good “gaydar”), but other times, he looked at Reiner like he’d never see him again; hungry, shattered, and desperate.  Marco could never understand why.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jean is not as smooth as he’d like to be, Ymir is the queen of pickup lines, Reiner is a soldier, Eren has an unexpected fear, Connie misses his family, team assignments are posted, Jean is not outdoorsy, and Bertholdt might be sick.

**65.**

“Hey, uh, Mikasa?  Can I ask you something?”  Jean gulped and adjusted his collar.  She was so beautiful, all black hair and dark eyes and smooth skin. 

“What is it, Jean?”  Sina, even her voice was beautiful.

_Say something, Jean, come on, say something!_ But the words Jean had practised deserted him.

Mikasa waited, watching Jean’s struggle impassively.

“D’yuh,” Jean said. 

He cleared his throat. “Do you, um, I mean would you –”

“Mikasa!” Eren’s voice rang out, cutting off Jean’s stutters. “There you are!  C’mon, let’s go! Oh, hey Jean,” he added as an afterthought.

Jean watched them walk away together, gaping. 

“Fuck!”

 

* * *

 

**66.** _  
_

“Did it hurt?  When you fell from heaven?”

Krista rolled her eyes.

“How does it feel, being the most beautiful person in the room?”

“Ymir, stop it.”

“Are you a farmer?  Because you’ve grown some nice melons.”

“Ymir, really!”

“There’s a party in my pants and you’re invited.”

“Ymir!”

“I’m lost, I need directions.  To your bed.”

“Ymir, enough, I –”

“Do you have any freckles on you?  Would you like some?”

“Yes.”

“There’s a – wait, what?”

Krista fluttered her eyelashes.  “I’d love some freckles on me.  Maybe right… here, and… _here_.”

Ymir smirked.  “Well, that can be arranged.”

“Then let’s go arrange it.”

 

* * *

 

**67.**  

Reiner flipped and pinned Connie in one smooth motion.  Laughing at the squawked protests and catcalls, he stood and bowed. “Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all night.”

“Ugh, how’s anyone supposed to beat you? You’re huge,” Connie grumbled.

“Well, it’s important for soldiers to be strong,” Reiner bragged, flexing his arms.  “Anyone else want a piece of this?  No?  Hey, Bertholdt, I bet you can’t pin me.”

Bertholdt glanced up, his expression sullen.  “No.  I don’t think I could beat a warrior.”

A violent jolt ran through Reiner.  Swallowing, he forced a laugh.  “Hah, yeah, right.”  _Shit. What is wrong with me?_

 

* * *

 

**68.**

There was clear apprehension in Eren’s face as he looked at the beast.  He reached up nervously and jumped away when the thing pushed its long face at him, baring its fearsomely large teeth.

“It’s trying to bite me!” he gasped, pointing accusingly. 

“What are you talking about, Eren?”

“This thing tried to eat me!”

Jean rolled his eyes.  “It’s a horse, Jaeger.  It eats plants.”

Eren scowled, but refused to approach the horse.

“Oh, come on.  How are you going to be in the Survey Corps if you’re afraid of a _horse_?”

“I’m not scared!”

“Then get on the damn horse!”

Eren did.

 

* * *

 

**69.**  

Connie kept a picture of his family beside his bed.  Most of the other cadets came from the cities and districts, or, like Sasha, from starving hunting villages, and so most were only children.  Connie, with his little brother and sister, was a bit of a novelty.  The other cadets liked to ask him about his family, what it was like, and he was happy to brag about his little siblings.

He missed them, though.  He wished he could see them again, but Ragako was too far.  So he promised the picture he kept that he’d make them proud, and pretended that was enough.

 

* * *

 

**70.**  

Skimming down the newly posted team assignments, Nac found his name under the 34th team, and whooped when he saw the names of his closest friends.

“Thomas!  Mylius!  Oi!  We’re in Squad 34!”  He shoved his way through the crowd of trainees around the list, using his stature to his advantage.  Mylius and Thomas were waiting near the back of the group, unwilling to shove through.  Nac grinned and threw an arm around Mylius’ shoulders.  “We’re together!”

Thomas held his hand out for a high five, which Nac answered with enthusiasm.

“This is awesome.  We’ll be the best team in the entire Trainee Corps!”

 

* * *

**71.**  

Obviously, nobody could be good at everything.  Everyone had strengths and weaknesses, so they should help each other when they struggled.

Certain people ignored that. 

Jean startled when a giant bug flew past.  He’d never left Trost or the Trainee Corps base before and he was vehemently _not_ enjoying it.  Sasha and Connie, though, were having a grand time.

“Look out, Jean,” Connie taunted, “don’t let the scary beetles get you!”

“Duck!” Sasha screamed suddenly.  Something hard bounced off Jean’s head.

“Ow!  What the hell?”  Jean scrabbled at his back, finding a pinecone.  Swearing, he whipped it at Sasha’s smirking face. _Damn country bumpkins_.

 

* * *

 

**72.**  

“Ugh, I’m reconsidering joining the Garrison,” Nac grumbled, slouching against the canon he was polishing.  “I hate cleaning.”

Mylius smiled and laughed, leaning close.  Nac, unconcerned with subtlety, grabbed Mylius’ hand and squeezed tight.  Marco smiled, happy to see his friends happy.  He blinked in surprise when Bertholdt took off without a word of warning or explanation.

“Where’s he going?”

“Bathroom, maybe?  He’s been looking really sick for the last few days.”  Marco frowned.  “I hope he’s okay.”

There was a loud cracking sound and a giant, skinless titan appeared in front of the Wall Rose gate. They stared, terrified, Bertholdt’s mysterious illness forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #66: I have huge affection for bad-pickup-line Ymir.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which sleeping together can cause awkwardness, the warriors strategize, Jean tries to figure Armin out, Sasha spies on a nice meeting, Bertholdt is paranoid, Nac is pretentious, Eren is not impressed with his corpsmates, and Ymir is protective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick warning that #73 is slightly less SFW than usual, though nothing explicit.

**73.** _  
_

The arrangement of the barracks lead to some inevitably embarrassing situations.  It quickly became obvious who the cuddlers were – Connie, Marco, and Nac were the main culprits in the male barracks, and though the boys never believed it, Ymir was known among the girls as a serial snuggler.  Bertholdt was teased mercilessly for his bizarre nighttime acrobatics, and he took it with good grace, quietly pointing out Thomas’s snorts or the way Eren ground his teeth.

 

One thing nobody ever brought up was the midnight chorus of quiet pants, shifting sheets, and low moans.  It was embarrassing and taboo, but they all did it.

 

* * *

 

 **74.**  

“No, it has to be the last day.”

Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt had snuck off after lights out, and were perched in the top of a tree where no one would overhear as they discussed their plans.

“We’re going to have to mobilize with the rest of the corps to fight once the titans are in.  Bertl, will you be okay?  After transforming?”

Bertholdt nodded.  “I’m stronger than I was.  I can do it.  But Annie, you’re in a different team. Get away somehow.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“I know, but we should be together.  Strategies and formations fall apart in battle.  Come find us.”

 

* * *

 

  **75.**  

“I can’t believe they let you near maneuver gear,” Jean muttered, hauling Armin back to his feet.  “You’re a disaster.”

“Thanks,” Armin mumbled, stung. He brushed himself off and checked his belts, refusing to meet Jean’s eye. “Sorry you got stuck with me today.  I know you’re trying to get to the top ten.”

“Aw, fuck. Whatever.  Today’s a total write-off anyway.” 

Armin shrunk into himself a little more.  _Damn it,_ Jean thought, _I don’t know how to deal with this guy._

“Look, Armin, don’t worry about it. I’ll just make up this shit score another time or something.  Just – let’s just finish, okay?”

 

* * *

 

**76.**

“Mikasa!” Sasha hissed, beckoning her over. 

Mikasa crouched beside her, giving her a questioning glance.

“Look,” Sasha whispered, “at all the niceness over there.”

“What?”

“Just look!”

When Mikasa looked in the direction Sasha was insistently pointing, she had to smile.  Armin, Marco, and Krista were sitting in a loose triangle together.  Marco was speaking and Armin and Krista giggled at whatever he was saying.

Sasha grabbed at her arm. “I wonder what they’re talking about.  Do you think they have meeting about how to be so angelic?  I bet they do, there’s no way that can all be natural, it would be hard…”

 

* * *

 

 **77.**  

Bertholdt wakes with a start, inexplicably nervous.  He wonders if he was having a nightmare.  Sleepily untangling himself from his sheets, he notices that Reiner isn’t in bed, and figures that he’s probably in the bathroom. 

There’s a sudden crack and flash of light from outside.  Bertholdt sits bolt upright, gasping, connecting it with Reiner’s absence and _no_ _they found out Reiner’s in trouble he changed_ –

The barracks door opens and Reiner slinks back to bed, frowning at Bertholdt’s obvious panic.

“Some storm, huh?” he mumbles into Bertholdt’s shoulder.

Bertholdt tries to calm his breathing.  “Storm.  Yes.”  He squeezes Reiner’s arm. Reiner squeezes back.

 

* * *

 

 **78.**  

Thomas spotted his friends walking out of their barracks, and ran over with an excited “There you are, come on, I’m gonna show you the town!”  He left no room for argument.

Having grown up in Trost, Thomas felt a sense of pride in the city.  Mylius, the quiet country boy, said little, but looked around with wide, appreciative eyes.  Walking behind the others, Nac seemed bored and disinterested.

“It’s just so… outer walls,” he said when pressed. 

“Not all of us are from places like Hermiha,” Thomas said tightly, offended.

“Sorry,” Nac responded carelessly, “I just always forget how quaint these districts are.”

 

* * *

 

 **79.**  

Eren didn’t think highly of many of the other trainees.  Some put in the barest effort, or just didn’t care at all, and he had no time for that.  The people who had joined just to have an easy life safe within the walls (like, say, _Jean_ ) made him sick.  And there were others, like Daz, who were just so anxious about everything, it baffled him that they’d ever thought they could be soldiers. 

It was disheartening.

Still, though, there were a few worth fighting beside.  Like Reiner and Annie, with their warrior spirits, and Marco the leader, and of course Mikasa and Armin.

 

* * *

 

 **80.**  

Ymir had noticed that Sasha’s accent tended to slip when she got excited.  And she was excited a lot.  Ymir knew she wasn’t the only one who had caught Sasha’s stupid country accent, but nobody mocked her for it.  Not to her face.

There were whispers and snickers behind her back, and though Sasha was oblivious, Ymir was not happy.  Especially when it came from the arrogant Sina kids, whose uppity accents were far more ridiculous than Sasha’s.

One day, Ymir caught Nac imitating one of Sasha’s outbursts and sniggering. She punched him so hard in the gut he pissed blood for a week.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mylius is outclassed, Sasha has a confession, there’s a high-stakes chase, Reiner is team mom, Marco is a friend, Eren and Armin have their own brand of comfort, their job is nightmare material, and cards are played.

**81**.

Mylius was confused how he ended up with Ymir and Mikasa for their three-day wilderness survival exercise, given how far above him they ranked.  He was intimidated beyond belief and terrified of falling behind.

As it turned out, his fears were founded.  He could barely keep up with them during the hike and by the time he had recovered enough to think about helping set up camp, there were already three squirrels roasting in front of a tent.  He spent the next two days in a state of constant anxiety and upon returning to base, immediately collapsed in an embarrassed lump on his bunk.

 

* * *

**82.**

“Psst, hey, Connie!”

Connie crept to the barracks window.  “What’s up, girl?”

“Meet me outside,” came the whispered response.

Yawning, Connie padded to the door.  It closed softly behind him.  Sasha waved from the corner of the barracks building, beckoning him over.

“What?”

“Okay, so,” Sasha’s voice was a loud, excited whisper, “I was thinking about it before, and I think I’m in love with you.”

Connie said, “Buh!”

She continued, grinning wildly.  “I wanted to wait until tomorrow to tell you but I was too excited!  So!  That’s good.”

Connie stared, mouth hanging open.  He didn’t make a sound.

“…Connie?  Are you okay?”

 

* * *

 

**83.**  

Mikasa zipped to the top of a tree and crouched between the leaves, panting. Heart in her mouth, she strained to listen for the sounds of pursuit. 

Too close, she heard Nac shout, followed by Mina’s scream.   The sounds of a chase got louder, until she could hear the _zing_ of maneuver gear and Nac yelling for Mina to hurry.  Mikasa peeked through the leaves when she heard them passing, pursued by a silent but intent Annie.

She leaned back, relaxing slightly.  Suddenly, Annie dropped out of nowhere, landing on Mikasa’s branch, cornering her.  Annie reached out and tapped her shoulder.

“Tag.  You’re it.”

 

* * *

 

**84.**  

Reiner sometimes wakes in the middle of the night, confused and sick to his stomach and with gaps in his memory that he can’t explain.  It always comes with a vague sense of _wrongness_.  Usually, he’ll roll over and try to fall asleep, or quietly wake Bertholdt to whisper under the blankets.  On occasion, he feels like he has to get up and check on everyone.  Reiner has always fancied himself a protector, and now it’s his duty, as a soldier.  On these nights, he moves quietly through the room, adjusting blankets and making sure everyone is safe in bed, until the feelings pass. 

 

* * *

 

**85.**

Marco was good at reading people and he was good at helping people.  So in their first days of training, when he saw arrogant Jean and insecure Armin and angry Eren and shy Mylius, he made a mental note to look out for them when they needed it.  When he met Daz, anxious and perpetually scared, he figured that he might need a little more help.

Marco helped steady and embolden Daz through bouts of panic and pessimistic “what if”s, and they became genuine friends.  He hoped they’d stay friends after graduation, once Marco joined the Military Police and Daz was with the Garrison.

 

* * *

 

**86.**

When they were kids, Eren and Armin would hold hands if they were scared or upset.  Armin found the touch comforting, and Eren found comfort in comforting Armin. After the Fall of Wall Maria, they held hands less and less, as Eren retreated into his own anger, until, made vulnerable by exhaustion and darkness, they’d huddle with Mikasa under threadbare blankets and clutch each other until morning.

When they started training, Eren was so focused that those reassuring touches fell by the wayside.  Armin was reduced to secretly gripping Eren’s hand while the latter slept.

Armin never knew that Eren did the same thing.

 

* * *

**87.**

Connie ran for his life, sobbing for air, desperately trying to figure out why his 3DMG wasn’t working.  The titan was running behind him.  It looked weirdly like Reiner, with a stupid, fixed grin.  It wasn’t catching up to him but he wasn’t gaining any ground, either.  Suddenly, Connie tripped and went sprawling.  Try as he might, he couldn’t get up.  His limbs were made of lead and his gear was gone.  The titan morphed into something resembling Sasha and reached for him with a creaky moan of _meeeeeeat_.

Connie woke with a shout and fell off his bed in a tangle of sheets.

 

* * *

  **88.**

Eren, with furrowed eyebrows and clenched teeth, looked very focused.  He inhaled, held his breath, and exhaled with a whoosh.  “Reiner,” he said carefully, “do you have a seven?”

Reiner grinned, teeth glowing orange in the lantern light.  “Go fish.”

“Shit!” Eren exclaimed before drawing a card from the pile, cackling, and placing a pair of sevens on the floor in front of him.

Reiner rolled his eyes.  “Bertl, got a three?”  Bertholdt nodded, passing the card in question.

There was a sudden bang on the door and the card players jumped.  “It’s past lights out,” Shadis’ voice yelled.  “Go the fuck to sleep!”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Armin reads, Sasha and Connie celebrate, leadership is discussed, Thomas is optimistic, Krista has a fear, Annie is the manliest, it’s way too hot, and Armin is sleepy.

**89.**

“What’re you reading?”

Armin glanced up, absently tucking hair behind his ear.  “It’s a report on resource allocation and expenditure in the military.  Did you know the Military Police has the same rations budget as the Garrison, even though there are generally around one thousand more soldiers in the Garrison?  I think it’s –”

“Woah, Armin,” Jean interrupted, throwing his hands up.  “I don’t care.  That’s boring as fuck.”

“Well. _I_ think it’s interesting,” Armin responded, curling in on himself. 

Jean regarded him silently for a moment.  “Huh.  I guess that’s good.  Someone’s gotta know that shit. Better you than me.” 

Armin smiled tentatively.

 

* * *

  **90.**  

“We’re gonna make the top ten!  We’re gonna do it!”  Sasha whooped and laughed, and Connie grabbed her around the waist, lifting her off the ground and spinning, laughing with her.  “We did it!  We can go to the MP and be together and make our families proud!”  Sasha threw her head back and cheered.

 “I can’t believe it,” he gasped, setting her down and squeezing.  “We’re going to do it.  We did it!”

 “I can!  Of course we did! We’re amazing!” Sasha pulled away and assumed her crane stance.  Connie crouched into the mantis stance, before they fell into each other and kissed.

 

* * *

  **91.**  

“I can’t believe they’re letting Jaeger command a team.”

“Why not?  He’s on track to make the top ten, you know.”

“Yeah, but he’s not that good.  I feel bad for the guys in Squad 34.”

“I dunno, he seems like a good leader –”

“Oh please.  He talks big but he’s a suicidal idiot.  I’d never want to follow someone like that, he’s gonna get them all killed.”

“You don’t know that.  And Armin’ll probably be on that team too, right?  He’s our best strategist.”

“Yeah.  If anyone can keep Jaeger in check, it’d be Armin.”

“Well. That’s not quite what I meant.”

 

* * *

  **92.**  

Thomas was always optimistic. Insufferably so, in Jean’s opinion. 

“Cheer up, man!  Just look on the bright side!”

“ _What_ bright side?” Jean snapped.  “We’re in the middle of the woods, no horses, no maneuver gear, stupid fucking heavy packs, it’s fucking _raining_ , there’s mud _everywhere_ , we’re still fifteen kilometers from the goddamn campsite, and when we get there we have to set up these stupid fucking tents in the fucking _rain_.  So I’ll ask you again – _what fucking bright side_?”

Thomas shrugged.  “I don’t know.  But we should find it. And then look on it!”  He laughed at his own joke.

Jean did not.

 

* * *

  **93.**  

Krista was afraid of heights.  It had never been a problem before, so she didn’t realize just _how_ afraid she was until she looked down during 3DMG training, froze, and crashed bodily into Reiner.

“Woah!” He automatically caught her, maintaining his own balance in the gear.  He must have felt her nervous shivering, because Krista could hear the frown in his voice when he asked, “Hey, you alright?" 

“Um,” she squeaked.

“Oh.  You’re afraid of heights?”  There was no judgement in his tone but Krista flushed with embarrassment.

“It’s okay, I understand.  I know how to get over it. If you want.”

“Yes, please.”

 

* * *

 **94.**  

Nac set down his empty mug with a belch and leaned back on his hands.  Mina wrinkled her nose.  “That’s disgusting, Nac.”

He grinned.  “Yep.”  Thomas laughed and high-fived him.  Across the table, Annie rolled her eyes.  Mylius sat down on the bench beside Annie with a mug of hot chocolate.

“Hey My,” Nac said, “check this out!”  He sucked in a breath before burping loudly again. 

Mylius waved his hand in front of his face – “Gross!” – and laughed.

Annie chugged the rest of her drink before letting rip a burp louder than either of Nac’s.  The boys stared in stunned appreciation, then cheered.

 

* * *

  **95.**  

“I can’t believe how hot it is,” Ymir groaned, dropping onto the barracks floor with a _squish_ of sweaty clothes.  She wrinkled her nose in disgust.  Hannah and Mina made sympathetic noises but didn’t move from where they were lying and fanning themselves in their underwear.

“At least there’s no training this afternoon.  I’d actually die.”

“Hey!” Sasha sat bolt upright.  “Let’s go to the lake to cool off.”

“Ugh,” Ymir groaned.  “Too far.”

Mikasa got up, padded over, and crouched beside Ymir.  Very quietly, she murmured, “Krista in a swimsuit.”

“Okay girls, let’s go to the lake, c’mon, on your feet, let’s _go_!”

 

* * *

  **96.**  

Armin’s head kept nodding forward into his bowl of gruel.  He yawned widely. 

“Tired?”  Marco wrapped an arm around Armin’s shoulders and squeezed.

“Mmm.”

“That was quite the run we had today.  I don’t think we’ve ever done that distance with so much gear before.”  Marco’s voice was calm and steady and as he listened, Armin started to drift.  A few minutes later, he was completely slumped against Marco, eyes closed.

“Armin!  Are –”

“Eren, shh!” Marco hissed.  “He’s asleep.”

“M’not,” Armin mumbled drowsily.  Eren snuck in on his other side, leaning so Armin was squished cozily between them.

It felt warm and safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #92, obviously, was inspired by the TFS Abridged episode of Attack on Titan, which I encourage you to watch if you haven't yet, it's hilarious.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bertholdt makes a choice, Nac is a grouch, Krista has earned her place, Marco is cheerful, Thomas needs to decide, Sasha and Connie do decide, the Trio talks, and it is over.

**97.**

“Annie.”  Bertholdt was blushing and smiling awkwardly. “Hey.  We did it. Top ten.”

She nodded, staring at him.

“Um,” he continued, “I know we were going to have one of us go to the Garrison, but I don’t think I – _we_ should leave Reiner alone.  He’s too unstable.”

Annie had been expecting this, but she still felt cold.  As always, she’d be the odd man out.

“You should go to the Military Police.  Reiner wants to join the Survey Corps… because of Eren… but I’ll go with him.”

“Are you okay with that, Bertholdt?”

He sobbed a laugh. “No.  But he needs me there.” 

 

* * *

 

**98.**

Nac was glaring at Eren and Mikasa over his drink.  “They’re so damn ungrateful,” he complained. “They’re both gonna make the top ten and they’re not even going to the Military Police.  I wanted to get back to Sina and now I’m gonna be stuck in one of these stupid outer wall districts.  If they weren't gonna join the MPs they should’ve at least have left the spots open for those of us who actually would.  Shit.  I should never have left Hermiha in the first place.”

“Stop whining,” Mylius muttered into his mug.

Nac looked at him sideways, softening. “Okay, My.  It’s okay." 

 

* * *

 

**99.**

The mutters followed her everywhere.

“How did she make the top ten?”

“She’s not even that good.”

“It should have been Ymir, I don’t get how Krista made it and Ymir didn’t.”

Krista frowned.  She had worked hard to make the top ten, and she deserved it.  Didn’t she?  Ymir was a stronger… well, she was stronger, but Krista was agile and brave and did well in their classes.  She’d earned that place.

Right?

Finally she sighed, resolving to simply ask.

“Ymir, did you throw your training so I could make the top ten?”

Ymir’s face stayed perfectly blank. “Why would I do that?”

 

* * *

 

  **100.**

Marco gave Jean a friendly slap on the shoulder.  “Hey, congratulations on making sixth!”

Jean scowled, but before he could say anything, Marco cut in with a stern “Jean, don’t complain.”

He blushed.  “Right.  Uh, sorry.  Same to you.  Good job.”

“Thanks!”  Marco gave him a sunny smile, which Jean begrudgingly returned. “I promised Armin I’d meet him in the classroom,” Marco continued, “so I’ll see you later!” 

Cupping his hands around his mouth, Jean yelled “See you in the Military Police!”  Marco laughed and waved.

Jean stood smiling goofily for a moment, before he frowned. “I still can’t believe fucking Jaeger beat me." 

 

* * *

 

**101.**

Thomas returned from visiting his parents to see Mina and Samuel on the dining hall porch, munching on apples.  They waved, and Thomas grinned, taking Samuel’s offered apple and sitting down beside him.

“Good visit?” Mina asked.

Thomas nodded.  “Yeah.  They’re proud.  I told them I was going to join the Garrison, and they approved. Mom’s hoping I get stationed in Trost.”

“Are you, though?  Joining the Garrison, I mean.”

Thomas watched Eren and Armin, over by the barracks.  “I think so?  Maybe.”    He could feel Mina looking at him, but took another bite of his apple.  “There’s still a few days to decide.” 

 

* * *

 

**102.**

Sasha snuck into the boys’ barracks the night before graduation.  Jean and Eren grumbled a bit, but nobody made any move to stop her when she curled up in Connie’s bunk, tucked under his arm.

“This is really it.  Tomorrow we have to choose,” she whispered. 

“Yeah.”

“I know you want to join the Military Police –” the arm around her tightened, “– don’t be mad, but I was thinking… after what Eren…”

“Yeah.” Connie’s voice was barely audible.

Sasha touched his hand.  “I think he’s right.  Should we?”

Connie sighed.  “I think so.”

She nodded, drew a shaking breath.  “Sina, I’m so scared.”

  

* * *

 

**103.**

“So.  You’re sure?”

Eren is staring into the sky, and his voice is forcibly casual.  He sees Armin’s nod out of the corner of his eye, and he doesn’t need Mikasa’s answer, not really.  She’ll go where he does.

“Tomorrow,” he says, finally. “Tomorrow we join the Survey Corps.  Tomorrow we can start actually making a difference.”

“It’s dangerous,” Mikasa says.  Eren doesn’t answer.  It’s the same argument.

This time, though, Armin speaks up.  “We’ll still be together, though.  It’s dangerous but at least we’ll be able to look out for each other.” He trails off.

Eren lies back and smiles a feral smile.

* * *

 

**104.**

Three years had passed.  Three years together, and they had made it through grueling physical training and emotional obstacles intact.  They had grown from children into men and women, navigating through the first squeaky voices and periods and heartbreaks and unexpected growth spurts, and they had done it together.

Standing silently in rank in the hall on the night before graduation, there wasn’t a single cadet without a burning feeling of pride and accomplishment.  Humanity may have been nothing but cattle in the shadow of the titans, but that night, each and every one of them felt like giants.

They offered up their hearts.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe this is done already. I’ve had so much fun with it.
> 
> The series will continue during their Survey Corps training, in 104 Reasons to Fight, which I will start posting in a few weeks, when I have more reliable internet.

**Author's Note:**

> I will be uploading each drabble individually to Tumblr, as well, tagged with "104 reasons to live", at http://sasha-braus.tumblr.com/ 
> 
> Come talk to me if you want! Tell me what you liked, what you didn't, what you'd like to see in the next series, who your favourite characters are, what your favourite dessert is, anything!
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Talk fandom to me on Twitter at [@paxlegomenon](https://twitter.com/paxlegomenon).


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